Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
PARENTS: I want to feel the abuse
This AM, I asked if my mom needed anything from the Farmer's Market.
Her voicemail answered.
Later, i got a call:
No, i dont need anythign fro the Farmer's Market,
your Dad will be there buying tomatoes and peppers.
So, if you see him, behave.'
(ie: Don't be with anyone 'gay'.)
Infuriating...I'm 47 years old...so much so, that I will not bring it up to her.
I the past, Ive brought it up and her response is:
'If you didn't need his money...'
So, I have to keep a lid on my gay identity while beholden to him.
Ive done that more than enough by not sharing my dating life, no mention of my hopes dreams and needs. Disgusting how selfish they are.
I don't have the energy to change her, let alone him, I just don't want to be a victim, a subconscious victim of this abuse. A conscious victim, yes, an unconscious victim...NO.
More on this later....
Her voicemail answered.
Later, i got a call:
No, i dont need anythign fro the Farmer's Market,
your Dad will be there buying tomatoes and peppers.
So, if you see him, behave.'
(ie: Don't be with anyone 'gay'.)
Infuriating...I'm 47 years old...so much so, that I will not bring it up to her.
I the past, Ive brought it up and her response is:
'If you didn't need his money...'
So, I have to keep a lid on my gay identity while beholden to him.
Ive done that more than enough by not sharing my dating life, no mention of my hopes dreams and needs. Disgusting how selfish they are.
I don't have the energy to change her, let alone him, I just don't want to be a victim, a subconscious victim of this abuse. A conscious victim, yes, an unconscious victim...NO.
More on this later....
Saturday, August 7, 2010
.I like to kill wonder
so, i open them up, X rated or not... people ask me whats in the hidden pics, i wonder
I HATE QUOTES
PRIMARILY CUZ THEY ARE USUALLY PLATITUDES TO LIVE BY, CHANGE YTOUR OPINION, ETC...occasionally, if one is in a certain psych/emotional state, the quote will 'work'. Work is defined as: the emotional state has changed from worse to better.
I have friends who hold onto these quotes, as if they are life preservers to cling to when waters are rough and unfamiliar. Simple Minds? No, just being human....
Today i like this quote:
So I would hope they would develop some kind of habit that involves understanding that their life is so full they can afford to give in all kinds of ways to other people. I consider that to be the baseline spirituality.
—Susan Sarandon
I may not like t tomorrow, what do you think?
I have friends who hold onto these quotes, as if they are life preservers to cling to when waters are rough and unfamiliar. Simple Minds? No, just being human....
Today i like this quote:
So I would hope they would develop some kind of habit that involves understanding that their life is so full they can afford to give in all kinds of ways to other people. I consider that to be the baseline spirituality.
—Susan Sarandon
I may not like t tomorrow, what do you think?
SATURDAY RANT
TonyD: reporting you to real; jock..inappropriate dreaming
: HA HA Ha. you have me laughing. what would you tell them.
TonyD: ill tell them you are extremely annoying and do not promise anything but nice pics...
TonyD: you are married and im not..and
: I would have to tell them there's a really cute guy with a great smile, sweet demeanor, and a really big one out there.
TonyD: and ill tell them they are ugly for rejecting my article 2 years ago
: floppin' it around
: what article
TonyD: well, how can i be nasty if you all nice and everything..jeez
TonyD: youve ruined everything
: lol, sweetie, I feel as though I know you and like your sense of humour and teasing
TonyD: a few years ago, i was introduced to their editorial staff, which consists of a hairy little troll of a woman who interviewed me for several articles, was all xcited thn dropped me in an email rejection and took my idea to another more accredited person
: I guess I will have to take som sleazy pics then huh
: what a thieving troll
TonyD: oh lord, yes
TonyD: im a little cracky right now
: sounds like the hag from the movie Enchanted
TonyD: yes, HER
: LOL
: well don't give up then keep at it and procuce it for someone else
TonyD: yeh lots of changes for me..last night meltdown
: oh how
TonyD: im ok right now..PTown next week
: Market Days for me tomorrow
TonyD: job..bouht house in marin across trhe GG bridge
TonyD: im single dont like it, however, i know what who i need
TonyD: working at 4 gyms
TonyD: trying to see what works best..: hey congrats any pics of the new house yet
TonyD: im often overwhelmed..doing stand up comedy
: you must keep long hours then
TonyD: its gross
TonyD: i hate my life a lot of the time
TonyD: upheaval
TonyD: however, if one doesnt change, thn one doesnt change
CHIGuy83: do you travel the US doing comedy, if so I would love to come see you
TonyD: trying to embrace it an take care
TonyD: im not that good yet
TonyD: i dont have 45 minute sets
CHIGuy83: let me the judge of that
TonyD: im lucky if i have 10
TonyD: im good
CHIGuy83: what is your tag
TonyD: i need practice
TonyD: i cn call you up and do it
TonyD: id make you laugh
CHIGuy83: well practice makes better
TonyD: i do a gay routine, an old lady jew routine,. a mafia routine, or combo
CHIGuy83: sure. do you still have my number
CHIGuy83: I'm sure I would be gafawing
TonyD: give it to me and ill look inmy phone
TonyD: i hve no more gay friends
TonyD: they all live elsewhere
773********* I am home pretty much all of next week, give me a shout and do your routine.
: move to Chicago then
: lots of gays here
TonyD: in SF, they bareback and are gross
TonyD: im an odd type
: ooooooo much better with protection. you're not odd just practicle and safe
TonyD: havent found my niche..boidy, writing, italian, my background nd psych needs
TonyD: i mean, odd as in anomaly..dont mean it negatively..need a smart, sensitive, hung guy
: come lay on my couch I will listen
TonyD: i found a few...takes a while and see how i feel around them
TonyD: ok, when should i call..ill do my routines for you..some is ad libe..it has to be with the audience
TonyD: dennis
: Monday I have to run out around noon to run an errand but I should be back around 2pm or any day next week afterwards
: ah there's my favorite friend with a stellar smile
TonyD: i look ok?
TonyD: im a mess
: looking good to me
: but you always do
TonyD: i cannot see straight, hnce the term gay, but gay means happy, havent found that yet
TonyD: thts funny my line
TonyD: i call monday am
: lol I'm laughing, good one
TonyD: when i have a receptive audience, it comes out of me.
: ok anytime after 8 my time then
: 8am that is
TonyD: receptive and come are particularly gay or is it just juvenile..same thing
: LOL don't you mean cum
question...why does your age say 98
: sure there is punch line there or maybe not
TonyD: insecure
TonyD: theres the punch
: lol with a little dance
LOL
TonyD: playing music in the gym
you are so damn cute
TonyD: mona vie
: yeah hit it babe
TonyD: not red bull
TonyD: MERCY
TonyD: with that british bitch
TonyD: i hate fags
CHIGuy83: get down get funky
TonyD: i just need one
TonyD: im out of my mind
CHIGuy83: that's ok, it's good to let loose sometimes. You should see me when I let what's left of my hair down
CHIGuy83: I become a bit of a BIG Kid.
TonyD: hows your partner
life is just too serious sometimes and I would rather laugh than get all stressed out.
TonyD: whats his name..hes cute
TonyD: ive been in a black hole for yers now
TonyD: ever since the recession
=: he's Tigh and doing fine. He says the same about you
TonyD: Tigh says im a mess
ya telling me...whew it sucks
TonyD: im qworeing twice as hard for half the money
: but ya are Blanche but ya are
TonyD: yeah i am
I hear ya.
brb have to look something up for Tigh
hold on
TonyD: SURE IMBUSY HERE
sorry just looking up a movie time for Inception today
TonyD: everybodys goign to that film
TonyD: i gotta see it..and post my review to my blog
TonyD: and will see kids are allright tonight
TonyD: in SF wit a bunch a fags
: please do and what's your blog
TonyD: i just started it
: what's the name of it
TonyD: i have a web page, just started
TonyD: reality check
: send to my email
TonyD: http://anthonydurante.blogspot.com/
: wrote it down. and trying to access it now.
TonyD: im so ADD it is difficult to get things done
well you keep busy then..
TonyD: ok i have it written down to call you
TonyD: on Monday..thank you
: HA HA Ha. you have me laughing. what would you tell them.
TonyD: ill tell them you are extremely annoying and do not promise anything but nice pics...
TonyD: you are married and im not..and
: I would have to tell them there's a really cute guy with a great smile, sweet demeanor, and a really big one out there.
TonyD: and ill tell them they are ugly for rejecting my article 2 years ago
: floppin' it around
: what article
TonyD: well, how can i be nasty if you all nice and everything..jeez
TonyD: youve ruined everything
: lol, sweetie, I feel as though I know you and like your sense of humour and teasing
TonyD: a few years ago, i was introduced to their editorial staff, which consists of a hairy little troll of a woman who interviewed me for several articles, was all xcited thn dropped me in an email rejection and took my idea to another more accredited person
: I guess I will have to take som sleazy pics then huh
: what a thieving troll
TonyD: oh lord, yes
TonyD: im a little cracky right now
: sounds like the hag from the movie Enchanted
TonyD: yes, HER
: LOL
: well don't give up then keep at it and procuce it for someone else
TonyD: yeh lots of changes for me..last night meltdown
: oh how
TonyD: im ok right now..PTown next week
: Market Days for me tomorrow
TonyD: job..bouht house in marin across trhe GG bridge
TonyD: im single dont like it, however, i know what who i need
TonyD: working at 4 gyms
TonyD: trying to see what works best..: hey congrats any pics of the new house yet
TonyD: im often overwhelmed..doing stand up comedy
: you must keep long hours then
TonyD: its gross
TonyD: i hate my life a lot of the time
TonyD: upheaval
TonyD: however, if one doesnt change, thn one doesnt change
CHIGuy83: do you travel the US doing comedy, if so I would love to come see you
TonyD: trying to embrace it an take care
TonyD: im not that good yet
TonyD: i dont have 45 minute sets
CHIGuy83: let me the judge of that
TonyD: im lucky if i have 10
TonyD: im good
CHIGuy83: what is your tag
TonyD: i need practice
TonyD: i cn call you up and do it
TonyD: id make you laugh
CHIGuy83: well practice makes better
TonyD: i do a gay routine, an old lady jew routine,. a mafia routine, or combo
CHIGuy83: sure. do you still have my number
CHIGuy83: I'm sure I would be gafawing
TonyD: give it to me and ill look inmy phone
TonyD: i hve no more gay friends
TonyD: they all live elsewhere
773********* I am home pretty much all of next week, give me a shout and do your routine.
: move to Chicago then
: lots of gays here
TonyD: in SF, they bareback and are gross
TonyD: im an odd type
: ooooooo much better with protection. you're not odd just practicle and safe
TonyD: havent found my niche..boidy, writing, italian, my background nd psych needs
TonyD: i mean, odd as in anomaly..dont mean it negatively..need a smart, sensitive, hung guy
: come lay on my couch I will listen
TonyD: i found a few...takes a while and see how i feel around them
TonyD: ok, when should i call..ill do my routines for you..some is ad libe..it has to be with the audience
TonyD: dennis
: Monday I have to run out around noon to run an errand but I should be back around 2pm or any day next week afterwards
: ah there's my favorite friend with a stellar smile
TonyD: i look ok?
TonyD: im a mess
: looking good to me
: but you always do
TonyD: i cannot see straight, hnce the term gay, but gay means happy, havent found that yet
TonyD: thts funny my line
TonyD: i call monday am
: lol I'm laughing, good one
TonyD: when i have a receptive audience, it comes out of me.
: ok anytime after 8 my time then
: 8am that is
TonyD: receptive and come are particularly gay or is it just juvenile..same thing
: LOL don't you mean cum
question...why does your age say 98
: sure there is punch line there or maybe not
TonyD: insecure
TonyD: theres the punch
: lol with a little dance
LOL
TonyD: playing music in the gym
you are so damn cute
TonyD: mona vie
: yeah hit it babe
TonyD: not red bull
TonyD: MERCY
TonyD: with that british bitch
TonyD: i hate fags
CHIGuy83: get down get funky
TonyD: i just need one
TonyD: im out of my mind
CHIGuy83: that's ok, it's good to let loose sometimes. You should see me when I let what's left of my hair down
CHIGuy83: I become a bit of a BIG Kid.
TonyD: hows your partner
life is just too serious sometimes and I would rather laugh than get all stressed out.
TonyD: whats his name..hes cute
TonyD: ive been in a black hole for yers now
TonyD: ever since the recession
=: he's Tigh and doing fine. He says the same about you
TonyD: Tigh says im a mess
ya telling me...whew it sucks
TonyD: im qworeing twice as hard for half the money
: but ya are Blanche but ya are
TonyD: yeah i am
I hear ya.
brb have to look something up for Tigh
hold on
TonyD: SURE IMBUSY HERE
sorry just looking up a movie time for Inception today
TonyD: everybodys goign to that film
TonyD: i gotta see it..and post my review to my blog
TonyD: and will see kids are allright tonight
TonyD: in SF wit a bunch a fags
: please do and what's your blog
TonyD: i just started it
: what's the name of it
TonyD: i have a web page, just started
TonyD: reality check
: send to my email
TonyD: http://anthonydurante.blogspot.com/
: wrote it down. and trying to access it now.
TonyD: im so ADD it is difficult to get things done
well you keep busy then..
TonyD: ok i have it written down to call you
TonyD: on Monday..thank you
Thursday, July 29, 2010
My first Blog
This is my first attempt at blogging.
Heaven and Hell know I've written enough material to fill the (now sunk) library at Alexandria, Egypt. At this point, none of the material can be seen here nor there:)
Heaven and Hell know I've written enough material to fill the (now sunk) library at Alexandria, Egypt. At this point, none of the material can be seen here nor there:)
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